Words of Wisdom
“The secret of life is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
Runner-up:
“You can’t ride two horses with one behind.” – Woody Allen
Honorable mention:
“Only by ignoring the obvious can true happiness be achieved.” – JK
Best philosophy of life/Apple computer slogan:
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” – Leonardo da Vinci
Best anonymous rumination about the divine:
“If there is a God, He has a quality control problem.”
Best anonymous rumination about the dangers of religious fanaticism:
“I would rather face a heavily-armed battalion than three people who are convinced they’re doing the will of God.”
Best relationship advice/warning:
“When a person shows you who they are, believe them.” – Maya Angelou
Best attitude to take when dealing with a day full of frustration:
“It’s all part of life’s rich pageant.” – Peter Sellers as Inspector Closeau
Best wisdom from an old country gentleman:
“There is them that said and them that did.”
Best/worst explanation of the human condition from yours truly:
“There are only four basic human emotions – joy, sadness, fear and anger. And three of them suck!”
Best explanation of why old folks get grumpy:
“The shorter the time you have left, the lower your tolerance for bullshit.”
Best words of wisdom about cooking:
“A chef who counts calories is like a hooker who looks at her watch.” – James Beard
Best/worst truth-telling words I ever wrote:
“Motherhood is a form of mental illness.”
Runner-up:
“Stubborn. Why are all the best gals the world over so goddamn stubborn?”
Best bumper-sticker life advice:
“Since I gave up hope I feel much better.”
Runner-up:
“When you assume, you make an ass out of u & me.”
Worst widely-accepted words of wisdom:
“Just trust your gut.”
Which most often leads to, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Runner-up:
“No good deed goes unpunished.”
If everyone heeded this old saw, life on earth would be even more miserable.
Honorable mention:
“Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.”
– Thomas Edison
I disagree. That 1% is what makes the 99% pay off.
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