{"id":481,"date":"2015-12-21T00:36:38","date_gmt":"2015-12-21T00:36:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/?p=481"},"modified":"2017-07-26T15:45:53","modified_gmt":"2017-07-26T15:45:53","slug":"advertising-in-whose-vineyards-i-toiled-for-three-decades","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/2015\/12\/21\/advertising-in-whose-vineyards-i-toiled-for-three-decades\/","title":{"rendered":"Advertising"},"content":{"rendered":"

JK\u2019s Best (and Worst) of Just About Everything\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Worst <\/strong>cigarette ad of all time:<\/p>\n

\"ubelievable<\/a>
Real Camel cigarettes advertisement circa. early 1950s<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Best\/worst <\/strong>name for a product targeted at Baby Boomers:<\/p>\n

EZ-Wider<\/em>, the new hospital gurney for the morbidly obese. A bed, chair, and gurney all-in-one!<\/p>\n

\"EZ-Wider<\/a>
And here it is… The EZ-Wider in all its glory.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Best <\/strong>JK commercial parody that only oldsters will get:<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you applied medicinal cream on Tuesday and chancres are back again on Thursday, maybe what you have is more than ordinary syphilis!\u201d<\/p>\n

Best, and worst,<\/strong> city slogans:<\/p>\n

\u201cChicago, the city that works.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLos Angeles, the city that smirks.\u201d<\/p>\n

Worst <\/strong>restaurant billboard:<\/p>\n

\"buffet\"<\/a>
Paducah, KY.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Worst <\/strong>on-site store signage:<\/p>\n

\"awning\"<\/a>
Cookeville, TN.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Runner-up:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"clock\"<\/a>
Peninsula Creamery, Palo Alto, CA.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Best <\/strong>improvised product slogan:<\/p>\n

\u201cNo shit to pitch, no tits to twitch, you just poke a hole in the son-of-a-bitch.\u201d<\/p>\n

– said of cans of condensed milk by WWII soldiers<\/p>\n

Best <\/strong>sexually suggestive song lyric that might as well be an advertisement:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe closer to the bone\/ the sweeter is the meat<\/p>\n

That last slice of Virginia ham\/ is the best thing you can eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2013 Louis Jones<\/p>\n

Best<\/strong> sexually suggestive phrase in a hemorrhoid remedy commercial:<\/p>\n

\u201cExperience that soothing occlusion.\u201d<\/p>\n

Best<\/strong> sexually suggestive advertising slogan, BBQ division:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s bone-suckin\u2019 good!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2013 Q joint on La Cienega in LA, long shuttered, name escapes me<\/p>\n

Runner-up:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cYou needs no teeth to eat my beef.\u201d<\/p>\n

– Mr. Jim\u2019s, LA<\/p>\n

Best<\/strong> sexually suggestive cigarette slogan:<\/p>\n

\u201cSo round, so firm, so fully-packed!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2013 Lucky Strike<\/p>\n

Best\/worst <\/strong>remembered line from an ad client:<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a push-pull campaign. Or, if you like, a suck-through.\u201d<\/p>\n

Runner-up: <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWe want you to implant our brand in the public\u2019s consumer electronics\u2019 buying womb.\u201d<\/p>\n

Best <\/strong>imagined speech by a disillusioned adman that I never found a place for:<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sick of all the lies. The lies of substance, of tone, of posture, appearance and implication. The lies of omission, commission and submission. The superficial lies, the profound lies, the lies so deep they might be true.\u201d
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

JK\u2019s Best (and Worst) of Just About Everything\u00a0 Worst cigarette ad of all time: Best\/worst name for a product targeted at Baby Boomers: EZ-Wider, the…<\/p>\n

Continue reading Advertising<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[23,25,24],"class_list":["post-481","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-advertising","tag-best-advertising","tag-camel-cigarettes","tag-worst-advertising","entry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=481"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":532,"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/481\/revisions\/532"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=481"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=481"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/johnknoerle.com\/historical-fiction\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=481"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}